"I hide my soul in stories from good movies, movie by movie. I read news, posts on blogs and wait, word by word. I wait news which should tell me what I would say if I read the news that wouldn’t come. This soul doesn’t get it and it thinks it can drink living water from mails, posts or emoticons which will never come anyway.
I’m happy for any „hi” I get and I make a living fire from any cube of ice. And, damn’ it, I hope! Any new email might be what I’m waiting for and I KNOW I won’t receive it. This soul believes that counting the rice grains and hitting the walls with the head can make a difference. And it believes that all the minds are whores or corrupted like the one it controls. And it hopes, as an innocent child, that all the other souls were made as it was made or these have been fed with the same type of corn like it – the pig! – was.
'You are too big, my pig! You are like a communist dictator and you believe that reading emails that don’t come or blogs that weren’t written helps you to control everything. NO! The life continues behind this curtain you built from the memories which are cleaner and cleaner, brighter and brighter. You don’t realize! You build a world in which I cannot live anymore!'
I just need to be brave for two seconds, to straight the things up. To shut down or to never start mozilla. To stop counting the mails, clicking and to keep the soul buried. Buried into my own life, and not into the movies, news, or others’ life. To get it out, from me, only when everything is safe and I know it can look into the present’s eyes."
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