Try to imagine that you wake up, tomorrow morning or any other day you like, in a different reality, in another life than the one you live right now. And this reality is not just another reality, but it’s a new life in which you lose everything you consider or you should consider to be of value for yourself.
If you are a doctor and you love that… guess what? You are not a doctor anymore; maybe you won’t have any job tomorrow morning. If you have a wife or a husband you love more than anyone, tomorrow morning she/he won’t be there next to you. Are you ready to lose everything? What will you do?
In other words, tomorrow morning, you will have to decide if you want to start all over again or… if you want to stop your life. What will be your choice? Of course, there is the third way. You can live in that new reality and still dreaming to the one you lived before. You can choose to live in frustration, hoping every day that you will get your previous life back tomorrow morning or next week or next year. You can start explaining to your new family, friends, people you meet that you are not jobless, that you are a doctor, that you have a good wife, etc. What do you think that they will think about all your stories from your “real” life? I will say that this is not a choice because you might end up in a hospital for mentally challenged people.
What will I choose? I will search for something to magnify my better half. No matter the environment, I’m still me. I’m always conscious of myself, of my previous experience, of the lessons I’ve learned during my “previous” life, and of my strengths and weaknesses. So I’m ready to start all over again and maybe I'll try to build something even better than I had before. I will consider the new reality a new chance to magnify my better half.
I try not to forget that every new day I live is another reality. It’s new and it’s another chance for me to magnify and improve my better half.
Oare am murit? Repet muzica la nesfarsit. Nu mai simt nimic din ce am simtit. Citesc ce am scris si nu mai recunosc nimic. Nici nu imi mai aduc aminte ce am trait. Parca ar fi povestile altcuiva, doar ale mele nu. Cuvinte goale care nu imi mai spun nimic.
Rece. Aproape indiferenta. Nu ma mai sperie curbele, ba chiar le iau in viteza, apasand si mai tare acceleratia ca sa simt ceva. Ca zbor. Si zbor. Si ma bucur cand orasul e gol.
Fals, simt ca zambesc. Fals, ma var intr-o lume si trec fara sa o fi simtit. Caut, sa plang, sa rad, sa fac, sa dreg, ca sa zambesc, din nou.
Oamenii intra si ies, fara sa bata. Ii inchid, ii deschid. Nu mai e nimic de ascuns sau de spus. Aici e deja pustiu. Si poate ca am murit.