Train thoughts

Finally I understood why I get so tired when I'm traveling. I traveled enough in the last few weeks - long enough to realize that I don't like the fact that I have to come back. I love to leave and, if it's possible, never come back for good. But in the last year, I came back over and over again in the same place - the city where I bought a lot of purses. And this makes me tired. No, I'm not speaking about the shopping. I'm tired because I feel that coming back to the same old place strongly connects me to it - to the city I think I want to leave.

At the same time, lately, I tell myself that the only things I want from life are: traveling, buying postcards, writing postcards and journals, and, probably, painting. What would I do with all the knowledge and work and life experience I got till now? I would use these for all the interesting conversations I would have with interesting people I would meet.

I cannot understand myself. Usually people that travel put their eyes on the train's window and... look at whatever they see. That's not me. I look to the chairs symmetrically aligned in front of me and that's the moment when all these thoughts come into my mind and I cannot focus anymore on the novel I read or on the music I listen to. Looking to the chairs perfectly aligned, making a perfect passage where I can see parts of the travelers: a hand, half of a smile, a part of a jacket, the corner of a bag, some nonsense gestures. And I realized that's life. A passage where you can see or meet only parts of people, a passage where you can never get a person with all his/her details. And when a person gets up and comes to your chair you can have a lot of good or bad 'surprises'.

It would have been better to look out of the window, and now to tell you about what left from Romania. We probably would be happier with an analysis of the railway stations, corn fields or Copsa Mica ruins.