For the English version of this article click here.
Am iesit in ploaie vorbind inca de Benjamin Button. Eram convinsa ca o sa le placa. E un film care nu le place multora, unii au parasit sala, iar altii au rezistat pana la sfarsit cu un popcorn mare sau sarutandu-si iubitele/iubitii mai des si mai lung. Eu mi-am retrait viata, si pe cea viitoare si sunt curioasa "what comes next". Nu stiu daca tine de momentul vietii, de ochelarii pe care ii porti, de agitatia in care te invarti, de luminita pe care nu o vezi, de nesiguranta pe care o ai, de certitudinea din urechi, de adancimea ochilor sau doar de rabdare... dar filmul poate fi cel mai bun film pe care l-ai vazut vreodata, daca e sa fie asa, daca nu let it go.
Si am iesit in ploaie. Si m-am uitat ce taxi sa iau spre casa. Alb sau rosu (poate ultimul taxi rosu din Cluj si care ar fi trebuit sa imi sara in ochi, ca sa il aleg). Am ezitat si m-am urcat destul de rapid in cel alb. Am inghitit o replica despre vremea "de facut copii si numarat banii" si am tacut. Ma uitam pe geam si ma gandeam la film si la viata... Nu conta traseul, soferul stia strada.
Simt gropile din ce in ce mai tare, apa se aude tot mai puternic si imi simt picioarele vulnerabile la gandul ca s-ar putea zdrobi de scaunul din fata mea. Ma trezesc si ma uit repede la indicatorul de kilometri: 100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow. Luminile de afara arata din ce in ce mai bine... pe linia de tramvai zburam. Imi trece prin minte sa ii spun soferului sa incetineasca, pentru ca nu ma simt in siguranta. Nu. Lasa-l. Nu mai e mult. Ma calmez. 80 - in fata semnului de cedeaza trecerea. N-o cedam. Noroc ca nu aveam cui. N-am zis stop, am mers mai departe. M-am gandit la ai mei, m-am gandit la mine, m-am bucurat de lumini, de gropile din asfalt, de linia de tramvai si de geamurile aburite. Am ajuns acasa si am zis un "la revedere" foarte rece, ca si cum nimic nu s-ar fi intamplat. Doar ca am strecurat cam greu cheia in poarta. Din cauza ploii.
Asa... Benjamin Button. Mai bine conduc eu viata asta, cu masina si muzica mea, in ritmul meu.
2009/03/07
Life's cab!
We went out in the rain still talking about Benjamin Button. I knew that they (my friends) would like it. But many people don't like this movie, some left before the first part of the movie, the others stayed counting on popcorn or sweet kisses from their lovers. I re-lived my life (the future life too), and I'm curious "what comes next". This movie may be the best movie of your life, if it has to be like that, if not... let it go. It might depend on the moment of your life, on the glasses you wear, the craziness you live in, the light you cannot see, the lack of confidence you experience, the certainty from your ears, or the depth of your eyes.
And I stepped out in the rain. And I looked for a taxi. White or red. Red was too obvious, so I took the white cab. After a small conversation on the weather, I enjoyed the silence, the road. So I went back to the movie, to my life...
Suddenly, I feel the road more than I should, the water's sound is stronger and stronger, and I feel my legs more vulnerable... I might lose them in a car crash. I wake up and look to the speed indicator: 100!!!!!! Wow. The outside lights look better and better, we almost fly on the tram line. I should tell the drive to stop, 'cause I don't feel safe, but... no. I should be home in less than one minute. I calm down. We enter a crossroads with 80 km/h. I don't say anything. I think about my parents, about me, and I enjoy the lights, the road, the tram line, the steamed windows. I get home and I say a cold "bye" as nothing happened. But I could hardly open the door... because of the rain.
So... Benjamin Button. It's better to drive my own life, with my own car and music, in my own rythm.
And I stepped out in the rain. And I looked for a taxi. White or red. Red was too obvious, so I took the white cab. After a small conversation on the weather, I enjoyed the silence, the road. So I went back to the movie, to my life...
Suddenly, I feel the road more than I should, the water's sound is stronger and stronger, and I feel my legs more vulnerable... I might lose them in a car crash. I wake up and look to the speed indicator: 100!!!!!! Wow. The outside lights look better and better, we almost fly on the tram line. I should tell the drive to stop, 'cause I don't feel safe, but... no. I should be home in less than one minute. I calm down. We enter a crossroads with 80 km/h. I don't say anything. I think about my parents, about me, and I enjoy the lights, the road, the tram line, the steamed windows. I get home and I say a cold "bye" as nothing happened. But I could hardly open the door... because of the rain.
So... Benjamin Button. It's better to drive my own life, with my own car and music, in my own rythm.
2009/03/01
Doua ganduri si o privire
For the English version of this article click here.
Avem un tramvai nou in oras. Seamana cu cele vechi, dar e alb cu niste dungi in diagonala si ascunse, dar verzi. Si f
iind asa de alb, intr-un oras din ce in ce mai gri, atrage atentia. Cum calatoresc zi de zi cu tramvaiul, exceptand zilele in care Sf. Chevrolet poate fi scos de sub racla, toata lumea pe care nu o cunoasteti voi ma intreaba cum e noul tramvai. Ridic din umeri si zic ca nu stiu. Si spun adevarul. Alaltaieri s-a stricat cu 50 de metri inainte de a ajunge in statia in care il asteptam eu. Asa ca am mers pe jos, lasand in urma albul tramvaiului si luand praful la picior.
Si uite asa v-am spus ce nu am vrut sa va spun. In timp ce scriam cele de mai sus, ma gandeam la altceva. Si reusesc sa fac asta tot mai des. Reusesc chiar sa intretin o intreaga conversatie logica, cu intrebari bine gandite si cu raspunsuri pe care le tin minte, gandindu-ma la altceva. Poate si voi faceti la fel, dar pentru mine e un lucru nou. Poate pentru ca se apropie primavara sau imbatranesc sau a inceput sa functioneze un neuron nou. Si asta pentru ca am inceput sa gandesc in povesti si imagini, fara conversatii. Si uite asa ma gandesc la ocean, la prieteni, la intamplari, la zambete, la nervi, la ochi, la miscari, din nou la ochi, la lucruri neintamplate inca. Si se duce conversatia, se rezolva lucrurile. Daca insa partenerii de dialog s-ar uita atenti la mine, cred ca s-ar prinde ca mintea mea e in doua parti deodata. Singura problema este ca uneori imi ies cuvinte ciudate din gura care amesteca cel putin doua ganduri total deosebite.
Sa imi revin? Sau oricum nu conteaza. Ca nu se uita nimeni foarte atent. Cred ca fiecare faceti la fel. V-am prins.
Avem un tramvai nou in oras. Seamana cu cele vechi, dar e alb cu niste dungi in diagonala si ascunse, dar verzi. Si f
iind asa de alb, intr-un oras din ce in ce mai gri, atrage atentia. Cum calatoresc zi de zi cu tramvaiul, exceptand zilele in care Sf. Chevrolet poate fi scos de sub racla, toata lumea pe care nu o cunoasteti voi ma intreaba cum e noul tramvai. Ridic din umeri si zic ca nu stiu. Si spun adevarul. Alaltaieri s-a stricat cu 50 de metri inainte de a ajunge in statia in care il asteptam eu. Asa ca am mers pe jos, lasand in urma albul tramvaiului si luand praful la picior.Si uite asa v-am spus ce nu am vrut sa va spun. In timp ce scriam cele de mai sus, ma gandeam la altceva. Si reusesc sa fac asta tot mai des. Reusesc chiar sa intretin o intreaga conversatie logica, cu intrebari bine gandite si cu raspunsuri pe care le tin minte, gandindu-ma la altceva. Poate si voi faceti la fel, dar pentru mine e un lucru nou. Poate pentru ca se apropie primavara sau imbatranesc sau a inceput sa functioneze un neuron nou. Si asta pentru ca am inceput sa gandesc in povesti si imagini, fara conversatii. Si uite asa ma gandesc la ocean, la prieteni, la intamplari, la zambete, la nervi, la ochi, la miscari, din nou la ochi, la lucruri neintamplate inca. Si se duce conversatia, se rezolva lucrurile. Daca insa partenerii de dialog s-ar uita atenti la mine, cred ca s-ar prinde ca mintea mea e in doua parti deodata. Singura problema este ca uneori imi ies cuvinte ciudate din gura care amesteca cel putin doua ganduri total deosebite.
Sa imi revin? Sau oricum nu conteaza. Ca nu se uita nimeni foarte atent. Cred ca fiecare faceti la fel. V-am prins.
Two thoughts, one look
There is a new tram in the city. It looks like the others, but it is white with green stripes. And it's white in a gray city, and everyone can see it. As I travel every day by tram (take out the days when I can drive my dad's "Saint" Chevrolet), everyone asks me how the new tram is. I don't know. And I mean it. Two days ago, it broke 50 meters before the stop where it should pick me up. So, I walked dreaming for its "white" and "blessing" the dust.
And I told you what I didn't want to tell you. While I was writing the rows above, I was thinking to something else. It happens very often in the last month. I manage to keep an entire discussion, with good questions and answers I can remember, being with my mind in another place or time. Maybe you do the same, but for me it's something new. It might be from the spring, or it might be that I'm getting old or a new neuron is working. I began to think using images, and stories, without discussions. So, I manage to talk seriously, and to think, at the same time, about the ocean, about friends, eyes, events, smiles, anger, eyes again, hugs, and things that haven't happen yet. And the discussion is over, and the things are solved. If people will look carefully, they would observe that my mind is in at least two places. The only problem is that sometimes I use strange words which combine at least two different thoughts.
Should I change myself? It doesn't really matter. Nobody looks carefully. I think everyone does the same. I caught you.
And I told you what I didn't want to tell you. While I was writing the rows above, I was thinking to something else. It happens very often in the last month. I manage to keep an entire discussion, with good questions and answers I can remember, being with my mind in another place or time. Maybe you do the same, but for me it's something new. It might be from the spring, or it might be that I'm getting old or a new neuron is working. I began to think using images, and stories, without discussions. So, I manage to talk seriously, and to think, at the same time, about the ocean, about friends, eyes, events, smiles, anger, eyes again, hugs, and things that haven't happen yet. And the discussion is over, and the things are solved. If people will look carefully, they would observe that my mind is in at least two places. The only problem is that sometimes I use strange words which combine at least two different thoughts.
Should I change myself? It doesn't really matter. Nobody looks carefully. I think everyone does the same. I caught you.
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